Fears In the Night
by redrose24
Summary: Months after taking the throne with Jon at her side, Dany still is haunted by what could have happened - what she could have easily become if she'd let power, fear and grief consume her the day she took King's Landing from Cersei.


_The bells rang in King's Landing. A joyous sound really. But Daenarys didn't feel the joy she'd expected to feel. _

_Instead she thought of Missandei, slain in front of her very eyes by Cersei, her greatest enemy. _

_She thought of Jorah, her greatest friend and protector, who had died by her side, defending her just as he had done for years. _

_She thought of Rakharo, one of her earliest blood riders, who risked and gave his life for her when trying to find an end to the Red Waste for his Khaleesi and their small Khalasar. He'd died trying to save them all. _

_She thought of Drogo, her sun and stars, who was taken from her by a witch. _

_She thought of Ser Barristan, another loyal friend. Oh how she'd looked up to him. Her favorite memories of him were when he'd told her stories of her brother Rhaegar, who wanted to be a Prince of the people. He'd died protecting her and Meereen. _

_And she thought of her sweet Viserion. Her cream and gold dragon. Her child. Killed by the Night King. He may as well have sent the ice dagger through her heart. Fierce as her dragons were, the cry Viserion released as he fell from the sky would haunt her forever. _

_She thought of all those she'd loved and lost. Ripped from her. _

_What was this victory without them? _

_Meaningless. _

_Meaningless until all her enemies were gone from the world. _

_And gone from the world they would be. Regardless of the cost. _

_Daenarys held on tighter to Drogon, sending him into the air once more. _

Jon awoke from his sleep with a start to a sound he hated to hear – the sound of his wife's lungs gasping for air as tears surely gathered in her eyes.

"Dany, I'm here," He sat up and embraced her immediately. "What is it, love? Tell me?"

"Jon," Dany gasped. "I was her. I became her," She sobbed, unable to even open her eyes through the emotion.

"Became who?"

"The Mad Queen," Dany choked out, gripping his strong arms. She looked up at him. "I destroyed King's Landing. Countless innocent people – dead. And I used my children to do it – Rhaegal and Drogon. We burned it all."

"Shhh," Jon soothed her, holding her tighter. "It was just a dream, sweetheart."

"But it almost happened, Jon!" Dany's eyes were wide. "I remember that day. It took all I had not to avenge the deaths of those I loved. Taking my loss out on our people. The people I'd wanted to free for so long."

"But it didn't happen, Dany," Jon took her face in his hands. "And it won't ever happen. You are queen. I am king. We are making Westeros a better place. Together."

"Promise me," Dany took a deep breath. "Promise me you won't ever let me become that. Whatever you have to do."

"Daenerys," Jon's voice was stern. "You are not her. You are the Breaker of Chains. Mhysa. You brought dragons back into the world. How could a Mad Queen be those things?"

Daenerys' pressed her lips together, trying to keep from crying more at her husband's words.

"And how could a Mad Queen give me a gift I never thought I deserved?" Jon's hand rested on Daenerys' belly. She was half way through her pregnancy with their first child.

She put her hand on top of his. She took another deep breath, steadying herself.

"I miss them," She wiped her face with her fingers. "I wish they were here."

She didn't have to say their names. Jon knew all the ones she was talking about.

"I know," He took her hand and kissed it. "But they were all apart of your journey. We'll keep their memory alive each day we make this world a better place. Each day we look after our people. It's what they fought for too."

Daenerys nodded, knowing he was right.

"_Zaldrīzes buzdari iksos daor,_" Jon said. His fingers gently gripped her chin, prompting her to look up at him. "Don't be a slave to your fear, Dany."

Dany rested on Jon's shoulder, looking down at her belly.

"This is our new reason," She marveled. "Our prince or princess."

"And to think – this won't have fur or scales. New territory indeed," Jon smirked.

Dany's laughter bubbled.

"Your Valyarian is getting a little better by the way," Dany nudged him encouragingly. His smile turned into a cringe. "It is," She insisted.

Jon had been hesitant to learn the mother tongue of his Targaryen family. With his coarse northern dialect, he was sure he couldn't learn the words that sounded like a song when coming from his wife's lips. She even made the rough language of the Dothraki sound like music.

But Dany hadn't given up. And finally Jon let her slowly start teaching her.

_Zaldrizes buzdari iksos daor._ A dragon is not a slave. A motto of sorts for Daenarys. Indeed, the words were very important to her. It was one of the first phrases she'd taught him.

"_Sytilībā ēdrū īlon?_" She put her small hand on his cheek.

Jon's brow knitted together.

"Yes?"

Dany gazed pointedly at him.

"_Kessa_," Jon answered. It still felt odd to speak another language.

"Yes," Dany giggled. "We should sleep now."

Jon smiled, lying down, pulling her against him. Her belly filled with their child pressing against him was a wonderful feeling.

He vowed to keep them both safe.


End file.
